I really wasn't Going to Post today

Dear Dilettante,

I really wasn't going to post today, I really was not!!  But, in the light of the moment and the day I thought I would let out some frustrations.

 Don't you hate it when you say something or do something and it goes over-looked and you are told your wrong in so many ways. But then when the person comes back to you to show you the correct way or and it is what you said in the first place.

Sometimes I just want to say FML and storm away like a bratty 2 year old (not that one would be cussing, but I guess with today's society and the teen pregnancies who knows what is really being taught to kids at home) 

Instead I grin and bear/bare (sp? Help!) it. I know I was right, and I guess at this moment whether the person chooses to acknowledge it or not does not matter.

I just hate the feeling of looking stupid in other people's eyes. But, maybe they do not want to admit I was right for odd reasons??? WHO knows, who cares, I am slowly getting over it.

Until next time, Bye Bye!

Great Day

Dear Dilettante,

I had  great time hanging with my bestie!!!!!! She really liked the gifts that I gave her. I made her a Good Luck Bracelete and a movie ahahahahhaah.

I'm really tired, but I just wanted to make an appearance.

Oh found out the Lemon Chicken was actually RAT!!!!!!! but it was a tasty rat. ahahahahah

I had a good ole time (^_^)

Planning an Adventure

Dear Dilettante,

I have not been out in a while, and so I am planning on hanging out with my BESTIE, THE BEST BESTIE ULTIMATELY IN THE  ENTIRE WORLD tomorrow. She is only back instate for a week, and then she is off to China! We are going to go the mall and then eat at Cafe' 101. I really cannot wait. I need to straighten my hair tonight and get some sleep. So I can be ready for the day. I have not been out in sooo long. I really cannot wait.

And!!!! Somebody needs to tell me why the new episode of House is delayed on HULU! I have been waiting all day to watch it. GRRRRR.... one of the few shows I watch, this is why I do not watch TV. (>_<)

...AND HE SAID, "LET THERE BE SOUND".

Dear Dilettante,

For some reason my sound came back early this morning. I am really happy and excited, even though I like my new speakers that like to work on an off. LOL. Planning for the new school is going well so far, or at least I believe it is. I will need to start packing soon, or coming up with a list of things that I will need to bring, so I will not forget anythings. Lastly, I have started my individual summer studying. So, all in all, I am very content right now. I hope there are more of these days to come. (^_^)

By Day 2 Summer High Is OVer

Dear Dilettante,

CRAP! It is the second day of summer and I am bored as hell. I think I am going to find a movie to watch or something.

WHo knows I'm bored already. Maybe I need to dive into a good book and venture off into an alternative world. Diety knows that sleeping is not helping me, because then I am up all night. Which I will probably be again tonight (>_<)

Although, I did not sleep as much during the day as I did yesterday, or at least I do not think so.

I know I have been pigging out, (: P)

YEAA, that does not need to happen..

"'Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars"

Bye Bye,

Break

Dear Dilettante,

I will be takinga short break from blogging. I think until Tuesday after I fnish my tets. I have a lot to do. (>_<)

Having A Hard Time

Dear Dilettante,


I am having a hard time concentrating and focusing. I am watching Anderson Cooper. I cannot sleep. I really should be studying, but that is not the case.


I really want to do well on this final, but I cannot get myself to concentrate. I have a 76, only 4 or 3.5 points away from making a B.


I really want to do well.


GRRRRRR....why can i not get into the right mindset.


I will do it.


I will write more later.


I think I just need a really good sleep.


Then I will be able to get on track.

------------------------------------------
Update: 7:33 AM

I really need to get started on my studying. My best friend gives me so much inspiration. She studies all the time and she is really focussed. I hope I develop thsoe same qualities.

My little sister was upset that I was not going to volunteer at her dissection thing, but it was too late for me to volunteer. She was silently crying, and I felt really bad. I did not know until the day before. So, I am going to join her and my other little one at lunch. That made her feel really happy.

I told her I would make cheeseburgers and french french fries with Soda.

Which made her very happy.

Actually both of them very happy.

P.S. I think there are birds living in my chimney. LOL

A Needa New

Dear Dilettante,

My Computer I swear is slowly dying. The sound is not playing. I can only hear something if I have headphones in. I really cannot handle this right now. I need a new computer!!!!!

My lab test went okay, I think. I kind of rushed through it but hopefully I got everything in the right place. I think I probably missed 3 questions. At least I hope.

I still have the big test on Tuesday and Thursday.

I want to do well, really well. So, I must start studying hardcore today. The long nights will be worth it. I have no more cigs to distract me. I will have to turn off my phone and stay awake. Prepare snacks.

I see that flooding in Tennessee I believe. YIKES!

WoAH! Greece is going crazy chaotic. The government there is in horrible standing. It is usually shown as a peaceful place . OMGoodness, it is really really crazy, like a movie.
I pray that those people will make a safe return back into their normal daily lives.

I have to go. Oh my e-mail was hacked for some reason. *Weird*

I am in the process of cleaning my computer for the second time today of any and all viruses.

Okay, I am going to go.

Bye Bye

SUPER CALIFRONIA FUDGE STICKS ARE REALLY FREAKIN AWESOME!!!!

DEAR DILETTANTE,

I AM HAVING A GOOOD NIGHT!!!!!! I RELEASED SOME STRESS! I AM JUST HAVING A FREAKIN BALL!!!!!! THE NIGHT IS GOING WELL, OH MY GOODNESS I CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN!!!!!! I AM JUST TWINKLING LIKE A STAR!!!!! I FEEL SO HAPPY AND GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AT THIS MOMENT I HOPE IT LASTS. I WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER, I FEEL STRONG AND CONFIDENT I ♥ IT!

The only way I know how to describe it is, " I AM FEELIN SUPER CALIFORNIA FUDGE STICKS ARE REALLY FREAKIN AWESOME!"

--------------------------------------------

 

(Update)

3:45 AM

Just found out I was exempted from one of my finals!!!!! YAY! So, now instead of 4 finals, I will only have 3. I still have to study for my last lab exam tomorrow (which is actually today, I keep forgetting that it is the AM) . I am trying to get that done now. I really cannot sleep, because I had such a good night. The tides are turning. I'm rollin...rollin....rollin on the the river.

Tu tu tu tu Tu tu Tu Tu....

I know I need to quit, but -- You Know What?

I am having a damn good day, and I have not had one of these good feeling free spirited days in a long ass time. I hope some of it rubs off on ya!

I think I am going to heat up some pizza drink some cherry limeade soda (I have to save the Grape soda for my little sisters) and finish studying.

Oh- I'm watching CNN too. I love Don Lemon (I think that is how you spell his name). He is talking about that NYC Car Bomb from Saturday. I wish Anderson Cooper was on, but Don will do. (^_^)

Bye Bye

Chillin Like A Good Little Villain

Dear Dilettante,

I am just outside, studying for a lab exam over chordates and what not, relaxing drinking grape soda, and having a smoke. My parents are still gone for the week and will not be back until the end. I really cannot wait until I leave for New York in the fall. I hope the transition goes smoothly.

My deposit has been paid. All I have left to do is score well on my finals and then send my transcript in for credit review.

I often wonder about why I have so many doubts in myself. Why do I have so many insecurities? How can so many people be comfortable with who they are and what direction they want to take in Life?

Do I feel this discomfort because I am not doing what I am called to do? How will I know what I am called to do? Does it just feel perfect, and there is no real explanation, because you just know?

Questions Questions Questions.

I really hope that I uncover these answers.

I want to leave a lasting impression on this Earth. I want to make a big impact, but just because I want to do that, does not meant that is my true calling.

So how does one come about finding their calling? I guess if it was really that easy, people would have no problem making decisions in their lives.

Anyway, I am feeling good today. I am a little tired, but in good spirits. I had a long conversation with my best friend the other night. We talked mostly about the past. You know -- Fun stuff like that.

Hmm... I really do not know what to talk about. I know I have not written everyday, but I tried to. I mostly write, or at least I think, in the middle of the night.  You know-- when those wondering thoughts like to float in your head.

I guess, I just want to know that I am doing the right thing. That I am heading in the right direction. I sometimes feel as if I am walking through a dark tunnel with no light signifying the exit. Where is the speck of light that is supposed to give me hope that I am near the end? Where is the speck of light that is supposed to guide me?

Maybe I am looking too hard. Maybe I need to just walk and have faith. I really do not know at this point. I guess I really do not even know what I really  want. I hate the feeling of not having actions to support my words. I just feel as though I am at a standstill. However, nobody can stand remain stagnant for very long. Eventually, I will understand where I want to be. I think this task, just comes easier to others.

I think that is all I want to say.

I can't take the dialogue in this movie AHAHAHAH- It's good yet cheesey.

Dear Dilettante,
I had a good but busy day today.
My little sisters had fun. I apologized for my attitude the other day, but they said they did not even notice. They said that they did not even think I was being mean.
I had a lot of errons to do. I went to a Paul Mitchell Student hair place, they were rude ass hell.
I could not even stand it.
I think I was there for three hours just for a wash and trim.
But, right now I am watching Grand Torino.
I do not have anything to say.
I just thought I would check in.
Bye Bye